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<p><em>E. (Elmer) Raymond Hapeman</em>—better known as Ray, Army Captain, Dad, or Papa—was born June 11, 1938 in Jersey City, NJ and passed away at home in Middletown, NJ on July 9, 2024, surrounded by loved ones.</p>
<p>With a father in the U.S. Army, Ray and his brother, Phil, spent their childhood as Army brats, growing up across the U.S. and abroad in Korea and France. Ray started his early travels as a 1-year-old moving with his family cross-country from New Jersey to California. At 8, they moved by ship to Inchon, Korea. His early education abroad consisted of homeschooling with just five other students. Ray and his brother continued to explore the world and meet new people as they spent their childhood relocating across the United States and to Chatellerault, France (where there was no schooling for eight months). Ray graduated from West Orange High School in New Jersey after attending a total of 14 different schools. This early experience of traveling shaped Ray into the curious and principled leader he became in the Army and beyond.</p>
<p>Following in his father’s Army footsteps in supporting the nation, Ray joined USMA’s Class of 1960. During his four years at West Point, Ray flourished in the challenging academic and physical atmosphere at the Academy and enjoyed cadet life. He thrived on the Army’s structure, stability, rules, and procedures. Ray found his community at West Point, something deeply important to him after such a transient upbringing. He discovered he had a knack for map reading, participated in the Debate Council and Forum, and thoroughly enjoyed shadowing a field artillery platoon.</p>
<p>Shortly after graduation, Ray married his wife, Joanmarie, at West Point on December 31, 1960. Ray completed Ranger and Airborne schools and the Field Artillery Officer Basic and Advanced courses. He served for seven years, demonstrating unwavering dedication and commitment to his country during his time in the military. Ray was stationed primarily in the U.S., Germany, and Korea in Air Defense commands. His most significant honor was as a general’s aide-de-camp in Korea, demanding a level of responsibility, input, and mentorship he cited throughout his life. While serving abroad in Germany, he and his wife had three children: Eleanor, Teresa, and Chris. During his service, Ray also had the honor of presenting his father with his Certificate of Retirement in 1965 at Fort Jay, Governors Island, NY.</p>
<p>Ray was honorably discharged from the Army with the hope of raising their family in one place, a goal he and Joanmarie achieved, having never changed their address. After the Army, Ray worked in global telecommunication standards at the NY Telephone Company, AT&T, and Bell Labs, continuing to travel abroad and shape processes and procedures (two of his favorite things) for the global community. His work involved the standards for digital infrastructure that carried telecommunications for the internet and fiber-optic television services, and he was considered a standards expert. To further his leadership, Ray earned a Master of Business Administration degree from Rutgers University in 1972. In addition to being a devoted husband and father, he and Joanmarie traveled extensively throughout the world and fulfilled a bucket list achievement of visiting all 50 states. </p>
<p>In his spare time, Ray was a lifelong learner, forever excited to find a new history fact, master the New York Times Sunday crossword, or dominate in Trivial Pursuit. Always happy to find a reason to laugh, Ray was funny, and sometimes it was on purpose! He was a season ticket-holding Yankee fan who would never leave a game early. Ray stayed connected to the Long Gray Line by tailgating at countless football games, conducting two March Backs (2006 and 2011), volunteering, and serving as vice president of the West Point Society of New Jersey, where he was fondly referred to as the “voice of reason.” He also volunteered with his community at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Middletown as a lector, Eucharistic minister, CCD teacher, and Bible study facilitator.</p>
<p>Ray, the best storyteller, thrived at grandfatherhood. With his entire family living within 15 minutes, he attended all the baseball, soccer, and volleyball games he could, along with dance recitals, equestrian showcases, award ceremonies, graduations (including USMA Class of 2015), family summers at the beach, holidays, and birthday celebrations. He is loved and missed by his eight grandchildren: Chad, Conor, Amanda, Corey, Brian, Colin, Ainsley, and Tess; and three great-grandchildren: Clara, Blaire, and Samuel, who will forever share his many anecdotes and proverbs with both tears and laughs. What a wonderful life it was! Ray is also survived by his loving wife, their three children, brother Phil, and son-in-law Chuck, all of whom miss him dearly. Ray was pre-deceased by his parents, Elmer and Jeannette.</p>
<p>Ray returned to one of his favorite places for his final salute and is buried at West Point Cemetery. Well Done; Be Thou at Peace! </p>
<p><em>— Written by His loving Family</em></p>
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